Chinese New Year brings around celebrations and family reunions. It’s a time when we get to reconnect with relatives that we haven’t seen for long periods of time, and we get to bond with them again.
However, sometimes, our relatives can be really, really nosy. In conversations, eventually, someone might ask a question that’s bound to make you feel awkward, and leave you uncertain how to navigate. So here’s a list of questions to prepare for.
1. When are you getting a girl/boyfriend?
A classic question fishing for gossip, “When are you getting a girl/boyfriend?” is bound to show up eventually if you have some extremely curious relatives. After all, everyone loves a little bit of tea, and romance drama is piping hot!
It’ll leave you a little uncomfortable, especially if you’re single and unsure how to answer. Don’t worry! You can be honest. Let the person asking to know that you have other priorities in life than a partner. And if they’re silently (or explicitly) judging you, just remember, once Chinese New Year is over you don’t have to see them for another year.
2. When are you getting married?
Even if you do have a partner, or are dating someone, that isn’t going to save you from nosy relatives’ questions. As soon as you’re in a relationship, the question changes to “When are you getting married?”. It’s a never-ending cycle – people are always looking for more drama.
When this happens, don’t worry. Take a deep breath and answer calmly. Let them know your status without getting too detailed. Or better yet, just say that you haven’t decided yet, and are unsure. After all, if even you don’t know the answer, then your relative can’t ask further.
3. When are you having children?
Yet another follow-up question regarding your relationship. As it turns out, even being married doesn’t stop the flood of curious relatives. “When are you going to have kids?” is an extremely popular question for childless couples.
Again, when you receive this question, don’t worry. Stay calm, and maybe take a few more deep breaths. No angry outbursts during Chinese New Year, please. If you’re planning on having kids, just let them know. If you’re not though, that might lead to more uncomfortable questioning. So, you could just tell a white lie and say you’re trying. This way you can avoid conflict easily.
4. Have you lost/gained weight?
Now that the relationship questions are over, they become more about you – which isn’t necessarily a good thing. Often a very insensitive question, at these reunions, someone is bound to ask you if you’ve lost/gained weight. That can be a very uncomfortable topic for some people.
So how do you navigate comments like these? The best, though not easiest way, is to brush it off and laugh. Tell them you haven’t checked in a while and move on to the next topic. Don’t think too much about the question, after all, these aren’t people you’ll see regularly anyway.
5. Are you still pursuing (hobby)?
All of us have hobbies that we’re eager to share with others. Relatives are no exception. As family members, they’ll be interested to know what you’re doing in your spare time, and asking about a hobby isn’t harmful. What is awkward though, is if you have a hobby that could earn you money, like baking or crocheting.
In such cases, questions about it are often followed by requests for some free labour. This is when it gets uncomfortable, as these hobbies take a lot of dedication and hard work, especially when you can get money from it. Navigate by politely refusing if you wish, or change the subject!
6. How much money do you make?
Something that’s always been a touchy subject is finances. Some family members may not get the hint though, and end up asking you how much you earn. Not wanting to disclose that is perfectly fine, but doing so in a seemingly respectful way is much harder.
So how could you navigate a tough question like this? Well, it’s simple. This is one of the questions you could make a joke about, or give a vague answer to. Just say that you make enough money to get by and move on with the conversation. If they push further, it’ll make them look weird.
7. Why did you cut your hair?
For all the girlies with short hair, lots of people will have opinions on the way you look. Especially since they’re the ones staring at you, rather than you staring at yourself. So obviously if you get a new hairstyle, there’ll be questions. However, when it comes to “Why did you cut your hair?”, there are often follow-up comments on how long hair just looks better on girls.
Well, this is a tough question. Even telling them that you just wanted to cut it isn’t a good enough reason. Unfortunately, the only way to deal with this is to act like you don’t care what other people think. It’s a lot easier said than done, but also trust us on this. You’ll end up feeling so much better if you ignore the comments and take the questions lightheartedly.
8. How is your ex?
Thought we were done with the relationship questions. Well, like an annoying ex, the romance (or lack thereof) questions have a way of showing back up -especially with nosy families. If you’ve had a past relationship, someone in the family is bound to ask you about your ex.
How should you know about your ex? Unless it was a clean breakup, you’re probably not close with them anymore. Just be straightforward with your relative and tell them you have absolutely no idea how your ex is doing.
9. Are you still smoking?
Some of us have strong habits, like smoking. Family members are going to be curious about it, but in this pursuit of curiosity can overstep with their questions. When it comes to a question about your smoking habits, you can just be truthful. Despite the negativity surrounding it, many people still smoke nowadays, so perhaps there’s no shame in being open about it.
10. Why aren’t you drinking?
One of the most tone-deaf questions you might receive would be “Why aren’t you drinking?”. There’s a myriad of reasons that a person might abstain from alcohol, and sometimes they aren’t willing to divulge that particular reason.
If you happen to get this question and don’t really want to answer, that’s perfectly fine. You can just tell them that you have your own reasons, and don’t entertain further questions on this subject. Now that you’re equipped with knowledge of possible questions, don’t be afraid of family reunions. These are just possibilities, and more likely than not, your relatives will be reasonable people who can make comfortable conversations! Have a happy Chinese New Year, everyone!
Janae Lee contributed to this article.
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